Well, let's see...last Quest check-in I was ramping up for White Lake Half. Let's start there:
I didn't finish...I failed!
Quiting was the most difficult and humbling experience in recent memory.
The week of the race my son got sick with fever and we had to take several days off of work to care for him. During this time, the virus spread to the rest of us. The day before the race I quit taking meds to get my system as back to normal as possible. During the time, I think I became dehydrated. On top of this, white lake was hotter than hell. All that cold-weather training out the window!
Race day: Too hot for wetsuits. Last 300 meters of swim my legs started cramping! They have never cramped before! I barely use my legs in the swim! I had sheer panic with a charlie horse in the water and still having to swim. I finished the 1.2 miles in 49:35. This was 5 minutes slower than I was planning on.
The bike was hot as hell and much more of a head wind than expected! Again, more cramping in my thighs and back. I could not wait to get off the bike. All the water that was being handed out was hot and I could not cool down. The 56 mile bike took me 3 hours and 9 mins. This was 19 minutes slower than I planned.
The first step off of the bike--I knew I was in trouble. Every time I took a deep breath--my diaphragm sent a shooting pain down my back. I could not run without breathing deeply! I was screwed and started walking with hopes that it would go away. I walked 4 miles. I would let my HR drop and then try again to run--PAIN. I got worried because it felt like kidney stones and I was not ready for that in the middle of no where on 100 degree asphalt. I asked a race referee the quickest way to get back and she said to turn around. About that time, my buddy Chuck Dee showed up and tried to encourage me to go on. The pain was just too much. I put my head down and walked the 4 miles back. I was heart broken. I was humbled to see so many folks pushing through it. I was embarrassed about not finishing and having to tell the volunteers trying to guide me down the finishing shoot that "no, I really did not finish, I just want to get my stuff". I was upset about all who believed in me and supported me. I was upset that I had no control over the situation. I second guessed everything. I was upset that all my friends finished and I didn't. I was mad at myself for quiting--not being able to finish.
I had not felt failure like this in a long time.
But failure breeds new limits...more on that later!
