Inside Job vs. Outside Job + Epic...Disaster!

Scenario: This past weekend did a bike/run brick w/ Stiney on Sat. We biked about 16 miles and averaged about 21 mph and then ran 2 miles. Pulled something in back doing airplane w/ baby.

Had to run 13 miles on Sunday. And the story begins here...

So I am headed off to run my 13. I am exhausted and not looking forward to the run. It is easily 90 + degrees outside and the humidity was fierce. In the car on the way to the lake, I call my buddies for some "external motivation". They were in a different mood (headed to a party) and were unable to be of any real assistance to the cause. So I get out of the car and continue my quest on the trail. Pearl Jam's "Inside Job" hit me at the right time on my Mp3 Player and I began to get really motivated...I knew that my effort today would have to come from inside. So I said to myself, "let's push it, let's experiment with some pacing and test some limits". That was all I needed--at the moment. I was running like a dog fresh off the leash at the dog park!

About mile 4, I started to feel the heat and my inner canine was wanting to jump in Salem Lake and call it a day. I was thinking about church that morning and the sermon being about looking for the "burning bushes" that represent God's presence that are around us all the time...then all of sudden---I started to feel these cool breezes coming off the lake and I was able to continue. My sense of strength and motivation then became an outside job...external to myself.

The ying and yang continued. At mile 8, I was hot and hurting and could not get my heart rate down. Tom Petty's "don't fade on me" came on and I kept repeating that phrase as my mantra to myself...as if "Body, don't fade on me". It was an inside job then. About mile 11, a light and cool rain began...not a second too soon as my water supply was depleted and I had forgotten my second gu in the car. The rain cooled me off and distracted me from my inside job...was the rain a "burning bush" as well...? I eventually finished the run. It was not pretty. It was ugly. It hurt worse than it should. But I pushed it and learned some limits...hopefully expanded my capacity.
Perhaps, if I am able to challenge my male "dichotomy" thinking then I come to the conclusion that it does not have to be "either" or "or"..."black" or "white"...I think it was an inside and an outside job that got me to the finish line. Perhaps I don't even know which one was which!

Well to top off the story...which brings me to the disaster...I drank my endorox and headed home. Only to find myself shivering and cramping. I was unable to keep any food or liquid down for the entire evening...

Ha--everything inside....came outside....

...and the journey continues!